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控制着自己~
Saturday, October 27, 2007

这两个星期的生活有点忙碌。。都在忙教会的一些事情和学业（希望不会影响学业啦）可是既是生活再忙再累，我都会都有这个状况出现，尤其在家。可能是家我们的避难所的关系吧，所以回到家情绪特别容易表露出来~奇怪！所以家人最近都觉得我很不对劲（我不想的，真的不想的）。就昨晚嘛~刚从学校回来，然后要赶着吃饭，之后又要立刻去朋友家开工了。回到家后，开始觉得没有什么心情了~随便吃了几口饭，然后说着聊着便说明天有去医院顺便带我看医生。我不想去~（那时的心情已经开始不平衡了！）所以她好像都安排好什么的，只是跟我说明天的出发时间，好叫我准备好。猪~那时我已经很想发火了。人家不想去就不要逼人啦！（那时我知道自己已经开始不对劲了，已经尽量开始控制自己的脾气。不给它爆发出来）。然后我就什么都不管不理，上楼冲凉出去。我是很不想摆那种脸色给你看的~可是我自己控制不到我自己~对不起~在车里，我没有出声，静静的（应该是说安静自己），听着诗歌。。不想再忍了，自己一个人静静的躲在车角落，没有灯光的地方，哭了。很想放胆哭的，可是不可以。因为我不想被姐姐和弟弟看见。赶快把眼泪抹掉，冷静自己，下车。心想：为什么会这样？今天朋友说他感觉到我最近的脾气暴躁了很多。我自己不停的在想。。我知道~可是我不想的，我控制不到！我现在还在很努力的克服它~在这里真的要说对不起！！我一定会找你聊天的~终有一天的。。。

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[10/27/2007 10:59:00 PM]